Somewhere Near The Future

Situation 1

 * : I never felt happy with you. You never think of me even for a second. You only think about yourself and your only friends. What about me? Who am I to you?


** : But we always hang out together. Why are you talking nonsense?


* : You're a liar. You never back me up whenever I'm in trouble. You never be there whenever I need someone to talk to. Also. if I ever speak something bout my problem ,you just nod your head and never comfort me. It's like you never be there for me.


** : I don’t want to get involve with your problem.


* : You don’t have to. I just need someone to talk to. I don’t need you to solve my problem. I just need you to be there and comfort me.


** : The truth is, I never consider you as something precious in my life. You're just like a tiny dust in the air. You’re annoying. You always make me feel trouble. You always give me such a great headache. You pissed me off all the time.


* : But . but… I never meant to do that. Why you say nothing to me about this?


** : Done it already awhile ago.


* : Do you think only you having a situation here? I also ..


** : I also …. what? You never satisfied do you? Wake up darling. You little ruthless. You think you fit with us? Come on ! You’re not serious aren’t you?


* : I’m not ! I know who am I. I know that I’m not as cool as you guys. I’m not fun. I’m frickin’ sensitive. Not qualified ! I know


** : Finish ! You knew about it already. Good ! I never expect that it would be as simple like this


* : I hope someday you’ll know what is really mean by FRIENDSHIP. And when you already figure it out, I promised you that I will never show my face in front of you guys. Well then, [crying] I hope you enjoy your precious life. Goodbye.



Situation 2



** : I spend a lot of money for your tuition bill. For your reference books. And for many other things. Now, what have you done to me!


* : I’m sorry. I really am. I tried my best. I did. I’m sorry


** : sorry? Is that all it take? After what I have been through all this while. Sorry?


* : I…..


** : Enough ! you’ve disappointed me a lot.

 These are what Ai have imagine all this while. My friends. My studies. I am so stressed out.

Friends. Yeah it’s nice to have somebody around you all the time. To laugh along with you. But is that enough? I try to appreciate them. For accepting me in their group but I felt like I’m not needed and they really try so hard for keeping this. I know its hard for them to accepts someone like me. I’m not fit in their group. Sometime I can be a truly geek. I can be a damn pathetic sensitive. I’m not as fun as they are. I’m not trying to fit in because I’m nothing like them. I’m trying so hard to keep myself as genuine as I could be. I really am grateful for having them around me all the time [instead of they sit close to me in the class] but am not feeling happy. I can’t express my thought and I felt so upset because sometime they didn’t even listen to me. I didn’t keep it in my heart when I got to know that they’re actually try to get rid of me from their group. Oh please, don’t act innocently, I knew it from the beginning. You don’t have to hid it because I already saw it from your body language. From your eyes. I knew bout it all the time but am keeping it only to myself. For me, it is better to keep something just to yourself instead of telling them what is your actual feeling. It will only produce a negative aura between you and your friend. I don’t mind keeping all of this by my own. Until now, my limit is still unreachable. I am losing my sense. I don’t feel anything even when someone say something bad to me. It doesn’t affect me at all. Amazingly, am untouchable by that. Sorry, you cant hurt me now.

 Bout situation 2.

I am barely breathe. I’m chocked by the air. It’s like a big mountain of something has block my air passage. I want to get flying colors in my exam. I don’t want to upset my parental unit. My family are everything to me. Ya Allah, please help me in my study. I really need your help. Amin ya Allah.