Somewhere Near The Future

Situation 1

 * : I never felt happy with you. You never think of me even for a second. You only think about yourself and your only friends. What about me? Who am I to you?


** : But we always hang out together. Why are you talking nonsense?


* : You're a liar. You never back me up whenever I'm in trouble. You never be there whenever I need someone to talk to. Also. if I ever speak something bout my problem ,you just nod your head and never comfort me. It's like you never be there for me.


** : I don’t want to get involve with your problem.


* : You don’t have to. I just need someone to talk to. I don’t need you to solve my problem. I just need you to be there and comfort me.


** : The truth is, I never consider you as something precious in my life. You're just like a tiny dust in the air. You’re annoying. You always make me feel trouble. You always give me such a great headache. You pissed me off all the time.


* : But . but… I never meant to do that. Why you say nothing to me about this?


** : Done it already awhile ago.


* : Do you think only you having a situation here? I also ..


** : I also …. what? You never satisfied do you? Wake up darling. You little ruthless. You think you fit with us? Come on ! You’re not serious aren’t you?


* : I’m not ! I know who am I. I know that I’m not as cool as you guys. I’m not fun. I’m frickin’ sensitive. Not qualified ! I know


** : Finish ! You knew about it already. Good ! I never expect that it would be as simple like this


* : I hope someday you’ll know what is really mean by FRIENDSHIP. And when you already figure it out, I promised you that I will never show my face in front of you guys. Well then, [crying] I hope you enjoy your precious life. Goodbye.



Situation 2



** : I spend a lot of money for your tuition bill. For your reference books. And for many other things. Now, what have you done to me!


* : I’m sorry. I really am. I tried my best. I did. I’m sorry


** : sorry? Is that all it take? After what I have been through all this while. Sorry?


* : I…..


** : Enough ! you’ve disappointed me a lot.

 These are what Ai have imagine all this while. My friends. My studies. I am so stressed out.

Friends. Yeah it’s nice to have somebody around you all the time. To laugh along with you. But is that enough? I try to appreciate them. For accepting me in their group but I felt like I’m not needed and they really try so hard for keeping this. I know its hard for them to accepts someone like me. I’m not fit in their group. Sometime I can be a truly geek. I can be a damn pathetic sensitive. I’m not as fun as they are. I’m not trying to fit in because I’m nothing like them. I’m trying so hard to keep myself as genuine as I could be. I really am grateful for having them around me all the time [instead of they sit close to me in the class] but am not feeling happy. I can’t express my thought and I felt so upset because sometime they didn’t even listen to me. I didn’t keep it in my heart when I got to know that they’re actually try to get rid of me from their group. Oh please, don’t act innocently, I knew it from the beginning. You don’t have to hid it because I already saw it from your body language. From your eyes. I knew bout it all the time but am keeping it only to myself. For me, it is better to keep something just to yourself instead of telling them what is your actual feeling. It will only produce a negative aura between you and your friend. I don’t mind keeping all of this by my own. Until now, my limit is still unreachable. I am losing my sense. I don’t feel anything even when someone say something bad to me. It doesn’t affect me at all. Amazingly, am untouchable by that. Sorry, you cant hurt me now.

 Bout situation 2.

I am barely breathe. I’m chocked by the air. It’s like a big mountain of something has block my air passage. I want to get flying colors in my exam. I don’t want to upset my parental unit. My family are everything to me. Ya Allah, please help me in my study. I really need your help. Amin ya Allah.

To kawankawan Bloggers

salam :)
hope sume sehad eh? Ai cume maw inform, Ai akan sentiase lawat blog koang. hee Ai maw kutip ilmu blogging niy :) hope koang sume dun mind eh. dun worry Ai tak kacaw hak koang. just nak kutip ilmu. Oh yea, Ai pn akan click nuffnang ads koang tapi koang pn click click laa eh nuffnang Ai. time kaseh ! :D

*budak kecik baru blaja :)

It's the Best Day Ever !

Salam :)
koang  taw tak Spongebob Squarepant? haa tipu kalaw taktaw ! hee even Ai da tua tapi muda byk pn Ai still taw tgk cer uh :D
Ade satu episode ni en, Spongebob rase down sebab dia tak dpt maen ngan kawankawan dy. So then, kawankawan dy pn cheer up Spongebob. Best kowt. haha. cam dak techiqq lak eh Ai niy. Pastu kawankawan Spongebob pn nynyi samasama ngan Spongebob lagu
''It's The Best Day Ever''

tapi Ai taleh kongsi ngan koang cuz youtube muted vid nyer. er sedih kowt :(

hmm eh tadi time chemist, fatin tanyer cekgu aspuriah boleh tak dy amek subjek Account. cekgu kate taleh. er cmtu kowt. Fatin da kecewa aa time tu. *Ai pn nak amek Tasawur Islam but cekgu tak bagi lak. adeh.
But then, kawankawan cheer up Fatin. dyorang start laa cakap pasal mase depan masing2. haha Nuri cam gubra sikit tadi pasal stuff future ni. Ai lagi laaa. skg ni Ai bukan dak techiqq lagi. cekgu rmai ckp mase form 4 ni laa kite kene decide path kerjaya masingmasing. susaa laaa cmni. in my thought, Ai still dak techiqq lagi laaaa cekgu ! dun push me. saket otakk pk . Ibu pena cadang en Ai jadi pharmacist tapi woaaa giler susaa aa nak blajaa. skg ni result Ai cukupcukup makan ew.  Ingat maw jadi pensyarah TeSL jer. haha tade kene mngene kowt ngan sc stream. wakaka.

tadi at school, Ai nyer result for BM ngan Math agak okay kowt.
BM : 87
Math : 74

actually math leh improve taw. Ai pegi wat byk silly mistakes ! siyes nyesal. Asal Ai tak semak. ngeng! Ai ngeng !!! kat mmg skola nyesal tak abes. haha so kawan kawan jgn jadi cm Ai, okay ?

er fatin! haa kaw maw jadi ejen insuran en? so dear, blaja elok2. aku akan sntiase support kaw. always ! kalaw kaw nak gak amek akaun aku akan sedia tepi kaw untuk support ue okay dear? ;)

dayu , jangan nakalnakal. haha . kite share eh junior F tu? tamaw kedekut laa eh. kaw en baik. sweet. hee and aku harap kaw byk2 sabar ngan aku yang sllu kacaw kosentrasi kaw wat addmath ;) haha sorry dear

dayahh , waa best dapat kawan sempoi cam kaw. siyes ! haha. kaw sllu gelar en diri kaw pendiam. haha ! betul ke nii? tak caye. tett ! buzz ! haha kaw laa yg paling susa nak berenti law dah gelak sakan. smpai pa'an pn kutuk kaw. tapi tape. itu laa yg paling best pasal kaw :)

nonon, cute laa dear. aku rase yg paling cool kaw laa. hee jangan kembang lakk. :D then kaw caring fo each other lak tu. mmg betambah sayangg at kaw :)

nuri , yaww happening giler aa kaw ni. bnd2 yg kuaa kat mulut kaw tu sume nyer mmg jadi bahan kiteorg nk gelak2.  best de kawan cm kaw. ohh yea, ustazah nuri! tudung kaw muncung sgt laa tadi. hee and and peringatan tuk kaw, tamaw sllu stress eh ,dear?

pe pn, today mmg best dapat gelak sakan ngan kawankawan. haha agak kecoh. lame tak rase feel tu. even rase kosong sikit sebab eyka da tade kat tepi kiteorg nak gelak same2 tapi Ai syukur sgt dapat kawankawan cm korang :)

btw, - dayu, dayah, nuri, fatin, nonon.
aku giler sayang korangg. flying kiss byk byk meyhh :)

to lovely dear eyka yang jauhh di Klang hee *tak jauh mane pn. hm i miss ue darl. hope kaw sukses at skola baru. aku taw kaw mmg trer. jeles ngan kaw. hoo
ingat lagi time ari kite kumpul rmai2 sblum kaw pinda. kaw peluk aku time aku nanges.
'Mi, jangan laa nanges eh. teruk laa kaw ni nanges cmni'
hm lagi aku nangis pas kaw ckp cmtu ! tapi aku slalu ingat at kaw. hope kaw pn same eh :) hope kaw bahagia sllu. and tamaw stress sgt yea?

But drenched in vanilla twilight
I'll sit on the front porch all night
Waist-deep in thought because
When I think of you I don't feel so alone

I don't feel so alone, I don't feel so alone

As many times as I blink

I'll think of you tonight

Killer Exam ++

Oh felt like dying at the class room this morning *11/8
grr ! rase nak sentap jer ketas ujian tadi. tataw nape cekgu saje bagi pressure cam ni.

Additional Math 7.40-9.10
Recess time 9.10-9.35
Chemistry 9.40-11.05
Biology 11.10-12.40
thenn, home sweet home.

Killer betul en? mencabar iman time puasepuase ni. siyes rase sesak nafass time fikir yang Ai belum lagi habes bace sume chapter2 tuk subjects di atas. waaa! tataw aa. cam teruk jer result kali ni. Before this, Ai cume dapat tmpat ke-20 per 33.
tamaw kecewa en parent. Haa, today *12/8 tade exam penting da. hee merdeka kowt. sebab ari ni and esok just sivik and pjk. haha online abess aa :D

Well, now Ai ade fikir taw. Ai tamaw da rapat ngan dak laki sgt. Ai tamaw ade connection ngan F. yeahh, dy sblum niy ade declare yang Ai niy adik angkat dy.
siyes tamaw da. taon depan nak SPM mesti fokus. F, Ai mintak maaf ehh? break jer laa hubungan tu. Lagi pn kite sesame Islam dah mmg saudara en. mwahaha. senang ew Ai ckp.

Oh lupa, nak bagi taw sumtin. Ai actually newbie lagi at bloggers niy. Ape-ape hal, mintak tunjuk ajar :) *waa! skema giler ayat Ai at entry kali ni. haha

Welcome Ramadhan.

Salam
My name is Sya'ban, I am advising you that my neighbour Ramadhan will be visiting you soon with his wife Rezeki and two children, Sahur and Iftar.

I hope this this post will bring lots of Nur in your life :)

*ohh yea, jangan lupe bace niat puase. nanti tak sah, sape susa? (;